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Welp... its been awhile since i've posted here, but i figure this would be a good way to get all my feelings out whether anyone reads this or not. its somewhere to post my thoughts and feelings. I've always felt like my life has been this one long journey, but isnt that what life is suppose to be? A journey. Sometimes the journey is long in bursts sometimes its short. Right now im not too sure how long this journey will last. its slated for 3 years at the moment. it could be longer, it could be shorter. I guess only time will tell. I have been having this issue with reality, and switching perspectives. Living a different way from what im used to within my limits of how i am willing to live with the means i have. How can i make a situation more comfortable without changing who i am or settling for less than i should have? That is the balance i have to figure out and decide what is best for me. But the only way to do so, is to do it! So here i am in Vancouver Canada! (i know, me and my crazy ideas) and i've been a bit hard on settling in. but i guess, its only been a week... school hasnt started yet... and my summer easiness has been disrupted for figuring out my life here. Its been a bit hard, just a feeling of being lost in a city where i have few ties... unlike california, where everyone i know and love is there. I must say, im happy for social media and the many ways i can communicate with them, it will make the transition from the things i've known for so long to new things, so much easier. For once i am ready for school to start, that will be something normal for me and set me up to really get into the groove of things. i think right now my time feels non-purposeful and its making me really anxious. once i start doing the one thing i really came for, i will feel more settled within. i think the summer break is wearing thin on me, im itching to do more with my time. but i guess also, i should be careful for what i ask for. its a bit odd though, i am not feeling my normal laziness about things. im feeling quite opposite, i have this buzzing under my skin, the need to explore. i need to see it all. i think thats how i will keep my sanity. im not afriad, im just tired of sitting still.